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Feels a lot like Love.

I love to travel, on foot, road vehicle, train, plane…anything.

The journey is more important than the destination

Anyways I just wrote the above few lines JLT. Couldn’t think of anything more “classy” Entry/Intro!

Now coming to the story I want to share.

Airtravel excites me for two reasons.

  • The Food served onboard.
  • The pretty air hostesses.

Now everyone knows the food served onboard flights sucks to the core (Atleast in the eco-class). So now you must have figured out that the numero uno reason of why I like to fly. Yes! The CHICKS, The Aero BABES. Also when I travel by a plane, I prefer the aisle seat and not near the window just near the emergency exits portals (for obvious reasons ofcourse ๐Ÿ˜‰ ).

This story happened on ย my journey from Vienna to Delhi (Chicago-Vienna-Delhi) ย onboard Austrian Airways a couple of years ago. Ofcourse being a hopeless romantic, even when I travel, I dream of a romantic interlude with the Air hostesses ๐Ÿ˜› . But every time nothing happens. But this time it was different. Even before I took the flight I knew that something really romantic and mushy was in store for me.

I saw her standing there, near the entrance when I entered the plane. She was longingly looking at me.

Was she in love with me?”.

Immediately, I wanted to call my mom and tell her not to hunt for a bride for me . But I just wanted to wait a little longer and enjoy the moment. When I walked into the plane, she looked into my eyes and smiled.

She was in a Black dress. I was in a Black t-shirt as well!

Did she know that I would be wearing a Black shirt

Thoughts raced across my mind. She said ” Welcome aboard”. Immediately I wanted to give her a welcome hug. But being a true gentleman that I am, I controlled myself and went inside.

I had just taken my seat. Just when I was about to fasten my seat belt, she came to me and started a conversation.

“Sir! You are sitting near the emergency exit”.

“Really? By the way my name is A . Can I know your name?”

” My name is Mellisa Thomas*, and as you are sitting here, near the emergency exit…..”.

She went on explaining in her sweet voice the safety measures that I ought to follow in case there is an emergency.

Why did she care so much for me?

Why is she saying all these things to me?

Is she in love with me?

She did not like me getting hurt.

Immediately I wanted to propose and wait no longer. But, I waited. The plane took-off. She walked to and fro in the aisle and always smiled at me .There was an old lady sitting in the aisle seat. I told the old lady that I had a bad tummy and I would be rushing to the loo quite often and hence if she could kindly exchange seats with me I would be grateful to her. She readily agreed. The next minute I was sitting in my favorite location.

A few minutes later Mellisa came to me and gave me a wet towel to freshen up. But she also gave the wet towel to everyone in the plane.Immediately I understood that she was testing whether i would show my possessive nature.I was not going to fall for this trick (I am way too smart B-) ) . I acted as if I never saw anything at all. I absolutely knew she wanted me to react and profess my love for her in front of everyone. But I wanted to make her wait. Even I could play mind games. I smiled within myself.

Then I took out my mobile phone and started playing a game. She rushed to me and said in a playful tone,” You shouldn’t use your mobile phones during the flight”.

Why didn’t she want me to use the phone?

Did she think that I was messaging my girlfriend?

So she was actually jealous and she wanted me all for herself.

After that I did not want to play with her feelings. Hence I kept my phone back in my pocket. She then came to me and asked what I would like to eat. I was lost in her charm and beauty and I did not reply. She looked at me for sometime and then she placed a tray in front of me and left. I opened the cover and found a chicken burger.

How did she find my favorite junk food?

She understood my silence. She was the just the right match for me. Why didn’t she come in my life for the past 20 years?

She even came and collected the tray from me after I finished my meal. “I shouldn’t wait any longer”, I thought to myself and I stood up and walked near her.There was another air hostess standing near her. So I made my way to the Loo. I went inside the loo and practiced my awesome pick up lines in front of the mirror. Damn! Was I romantic or what!

I came out of the rest room like a Rockstar. She was still standing next to the other chick. I walked to my seat and sat down calmly. After a little while she came to me and gave me a form and asked to fill it. She said it was a “customer feedback form”.

Was she trying to make me write my feelings for her in that paper?

I did not want to disappoint her.

I came up with an exquisite poem. I wrote it just for her. My love flowed like a river through my words. She collected the form after sometime. She didn’t go through it. I knew she would read it later. I even wrote down my telephone number and email address in that form.

The plane landed at Delhi Airport and I took my bag and got ready to leave. She was standing at the back of the plane. She did not have the strength to come to the door to see me leave and bid adieu. I understood her silence. She must have felt real sad and miserable. Anyways I was just a call/mail away.I smiled at her. Our eyes met, they spoke the language of love. I assured her that I am all hers. She understood it, because she smiled back at me. I left the Plane.

It has been 2 long years and I haven’t heard from her yet. But I am still waiting for that one girl who will give me a ring one day……

* I actually don’t remember her name ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜

This question is thrown around a lot.

How to make a girl/boy fall in love with you?

Don’t worry people, The Love Guru is here to solve all your doubts!

Guys
Steps to make a girl fall in love with you!

  • Sing for her (But please don’t become Himesh Reshamiya)
    himesh reshamiya
  • Cook for her (Make sure you are not serving burnt coal ๐Ÿ˜›)

cooking

  • Dance for her (Salsa?)

Moonwalking MJ

  • Play the guitar for her (\m/ Rocksta style)

guitar playing dood

  • Write poetry for her (No corny hindi filmi songs please!)

writing-man

  • Take her for long walks (Not when the thermometer reads 40+ degrees or <10 Degrees)

733599_walking_in_the_rain

  • Pamper her (Pamper her means pamper her)

pamper

  • Give her flowers (No cheapo junglee fools please!)

Giving Flowers

  • Treat her like a Princess ( Most Important!)

princess diana

Gals


How to make a Man fall in love with ya?

.

.

.

.

.

.

Just smile at him ๐Ÿ™‚

jessica alba smiling

Voila!

Uff… yeh mere fans bhi na!

It was very late at night, the clock read 10 pm. Suddenly my phone rings. Usually I only attend to personal calls at this hour.

Gisele calling !

“Oh No, Not Again!” I said to myself. It was the same girl. She is crazy about me. So I decided to take the call. For the uninitiated, her full name isย Gisele Bรผndchen.

I took the call.

G: Hey Sweety ( Hush voice)… Muaaaaah
Me: Tell me! What do you want? (Rough growling voice)
G: I was just thinking about you
Me: So?
G: Can I come over to your place?
Me: No!
G: Please! I am looking at your photo now
Me: Ok, So?
G: I am going for the Vouge Magazine photoshoot tomorrow. Can I use your photograph in the photoshoot?
Me: Do whatever you want! But don’t trouble me anymore.
G: Thank You! Muaaaaaah
Me: Bang (Call Disconnected)

I checked this month’s Vouge. And I found this!

PhotoFunia-147dc6e

And this is not the first time something like this has happened. Its only been few days that Paris Hilton was showing all of the world my picture

VBL2yCQdx8UEPGouFtWs1A (Small) And also some chicks named Angelina Jolie and Maddona were so desperate to wear T-shirts with my pictures.

PhotoFunia-147d0de (Small)PhotoFunia-148318a (Small)These girls na…these people are really crazy about me. I can’t stop them.

Any ideas regarding how to get rid of these chicks?

PhotoFunia-147d758 (Small)

P.S.: Wonderful and Awesome site this http://www.photofunia.com must tell you! ๐Ÿ˜€

Taylor Swift: Love Story!

How come I did not know that Taylor Swift was so damn HAWT?!? ย x-(

And whoever that moron dude (He is some rock icon from Def Leppard, who cares anyways!๏ปฟ) is, who is singing the duet…. Just STFU! ย I am was supposed to sing in your place! ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜€

Anyways, Taylor Swift is wayyy cuter than whatever of her I have seen before on TV/WWW!

Lubh ho gaya mujhe to!

๐Ÿ˜›

Edit: Have been listening this song for the millionth time now… What a BEAutiful song… (whoever says this is way too corny)

The old 1-2,ย  stop-and-start, The drop-and-run, The riddle-me-ree. No, not the moves you are thinking of, you dirty mind ๐Ÿ˜› . Iโ€™m talking about that things/moves you can do with your car to scare the wannabe Micheal Shumachers out of a moron driver behind you. It sure spits in the face of all road safety ethics, but if done carefully by a skilled driver on the right road, with people who deserve this, it can be just the what the doctor ordered to safety-release your road rage. The symptoms for this \petrolhead/ tonic are easy to see: a driver trying to tailgate you; crowding at your rear, honking non-nonsensicaly his heart out and trying to get by you when there is friggin’ nothing you can do to give him space. Muuuuahahaha. Do you really think youโ€™re faster than me, @$$hole? Huh? Do you think I wouldnโ€™t be going any faster if I could? Do I look like your momma, puttering along at 20 kph in the right lane while talking on the phone?

It takes more time to describe the move than to execute it. So here it goes,Its simple:

  • A deliberate half-second dab on your brakes, followed by full throttle acceleration away just as the car behind suddenly fills up the whole of your rearview mirror. (If youโ€™re not careful heโ€™ll drive straight into you, so be careful and time it well.) Ah, the beautiful sound of squealing tyres as the hapless moron behind you is caught completely off-guard by your braking and slams his foot on his brake pedal with his heart in his mouth.
  • Now make sure that heโ€™s looking in your direction, then lift your middle finger to the centre of the car (so he can see it) and mouth the words to his reflection. Now, doesnโ€™t that feel good or what? โ€ฆ

Lady driving the Golden Honda City, I hope you got the shock of your life on the Ring Road at NSP this evening. You deserved it. Even the auto-wallah in the lane next to me was driving better than you, and thatโ€™s really saying something in Delhi.

Moral of the story: Donโ€™t f*ck with the King of the Road anytime…thats yours truly.

P.S.: I am no male chauvinistic pig, but aunties, please don’t drive by yourselves. You Simply Don’t know how to drive!

P.P.S.: This practice is extremely dangerous, and SHOULD NOT be tried if there are pedestrians, 2-wheelers or kids and/or elderly people(even in cars) nearby.

P.P.P.S.: Also take caution of not messing around with Jats, Sardars etc as you might end up with a black-sore eye or two.

P.P.P.P.S.: This should be tried only after the moron driver pisses you even after seeing you are not able to move even if you try.

P.P.P.P.P.S: Feel free to give a mouthful of “sweetness” if the moron tries to race you again.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S: Enjoy smoking the morons ass! ๐Ÿ˜€

Disclaimer

The author shall not be held responsible for any mishaps occurred due to the procedure. Reader/Applicant discretion advised.

I know I am the uttermost vellaest person… but working people? How do they get the time and permissions(office protocols) for Facebooking?

Note: These both are were my seniors at college!

facebook screenshot